I’ve found myself getting a crash course in showing not telling. I never realized how much of it I did. Well it’s all getting fixed now.

Before

A man wearing a custom-made shirt and expensive trousers walked through the living room, contemplating his new business venture. He knew that security should be increased but was hesitant to do it; he was reluctant to involve outsiders. He then strode down the hall and opened a door that gave the appearance of a closet. Once inside the empty closet, he flipped on a light switch, then opened the door at the back, which led to a tunnel. He walked through the well-lit tunnel, emerging in a large storage building.

After

Angelo paced in the living room as he contemplated the hazards of his new business venture. He paused a moment to fiddle with the gold cufflinks his custom made cotton shirt sported. The cuff links were one of the few things he treasured, a gift from his father on his graduation from university. The reinforced French cuffs this shirt held was the only way these golden orbs stood out out properly.

The second lesson I’m learning quickly is to include more of my characters internal thoughts and internal dialogue.

Before

Daphne Flowers sat in the back of the limousine as it turned onto West Executive Avenue. In her lap was a locked blue pouch that contained the presidential daily brief, or PDB. Daphne hated her overly feminine name and had insisted using only her call sign Jaye for her entire seventeen-year career in the Central Intelligence Agency.

After

She exited the vehicle holding up the blue pouch and showed it to Steve Phillips, the SAC or special agent in charge of the presidential security detail. Phillips walked over to her and said “Morning Jay, another day another briefing.” Jaye nodded and felt an inward sense of relief that he had not called her by her birth name Daphne Flowers was not a name for the head of the world’s most well known spy agency.

Well I’m glad this is getting fixed, it is making my novel stronger. My novel is being subjected to the fire of editing, hopefully for the last time.

Hickory tree, plaque at Freedom Memorial Park to commemorate N.C National Guard units – fayobserver.com: Local News.

This WWII Vet is an amazing man, I wrote a blog about Edward Middleton’s  story previously.

The plaque commemorating the troops of the 30th

I’ve decided to honor a WWII vet who is truly an amazing man. First let me say that I know this man personally. I have volunteered with him at the Airborne & Special Operations Museum in Fayetteville North Carolina.

Ed was born in Baltimore Maryland in 1919. He grew up during the Great Depression. Ed was forced into the role of breadwinner at age 12. He took odd jobs delivering groceries and newspapers. He then went to work in a glass factory. He was drafted in 1940 at the age of 20. He was stationed at Logan Airport in Boston in an Air defense capacity. He then went to Ordinance school and received his commission as an officer in 1943. He was then assigned to the 30th infantry division known as “Old Hickory” and took part in the D-Day invasion. He then went on to Normandy, and the Battle of the Bulge, Mortain and St Lo. His part of the Battle of the Bulge took place in Ardennes-Alsace Offensive, near Malmedy, Belgium.

Upon returning from WWII he went to work for the Coast Guard as a civil service employee working under two Admirals. He worked for the coast guard for thirty plus years. He finally retired early late 1970’s or early 1980’s.

He and his wife ran a Bed & Breakfast in Luray VA, then moved to Thomasville GA setting up yet another Bed and Breakfast. After suffering some medical setbacks he and his wife moved to Fayetteville NC to be near his son Kirk in 2005. His son Kirk was working for the US Army as a contractor.

Ed is currently still active in his community. He is a member of the Fayetteville Independent Light Infantry and volunteers his time at the Airborne and Special Operations Museum. Where he can be found in uniform most Fridays in the WWII section near the glider.

I had the honor of meeting this amazing man during my time as a volunteer at the museum. So this is one amazing man, who is still serving his country in his own way. I’d like to present him with a book of postcards thanking him for his service.