Tag Archives: #ArmyWife

Why I refuse to hide the fact that I’m a US Army Wife.

First let me state that in my unsolicited and semi informed opinion ISIS or ISIL (same group two names) is a terrorist group. Their goal is to create terror and chaos in the region and cause fear throughout the world. They post videos of their violence online for a number of reasons. Some of the most obvious reasons are: an attempt to influence the actions of the countries fighting against them, to recruit new members who aspire to such evil, lastly to terrorize everyone. They want us to cower and hide in fear.

This is the definition of terrorism from the online merriam-webster dictionary. “

ter·ror·ism

noun \ˈter-ər-ˌi-zəm\

: the use of violent acts to frighten the people in an area as a way of trying to achieve a political goal

So ISIS wants us to be frightened.  While I think there are lone wolf terrorists here in this country right now, I will NOT change my social media profiles! I will not hide the fact that I am married to a member of the US Army. I refuse the give them a victory over me. I will proudly hand out my business cards that proclaim I am an army wife. I will still wear shirts and hoodies that tell you about my spouse. I refuse to let ISIS terrorize me. I will admit that my husbands battalion motto has influenced my decision. Hearing the entire battalion of soldiers call out “No Fear, Sgt Major, No Fear.” is quite inspiring. If they are not showing fear as a spouse I will also show NO FEAR.

I have been both encouraged and criticized for this approach. I understand that each and every military family will have to make their own choices in the face of threats this group of evil doers have been making. I am not saying that my choice is the correct on for everyone, I’m saying I will follow my heart, and not let an army of evil doers, who are largely half a world away terrorize me.

“I didn’t want to bother you.” What it really means to me.

Okay as some of you know I have become a wheelchair user. I have noticed several things after this change occurred in my life. I was once a very active volunteer. First I was told that a handicapped accessible museum did not want or need wheelchair users as volunteers. So I thought about fighting this but decided to just move on and spend my time where I would be valued. So I moved on to try and volunteer with the FRG (Family Readiness Group).

I kept hearing the same refrain “I didn’t want to bother you with…”

This frustrated me beyond belief. If I’m reaching out offering my time you are not bothering me. I soon decided that “I didn’t want to bother you” actually translates to “I didn’t think you could do be of any use since you are in a wheelchair. That is very offensive. So for a while I just hid and ignored the world. Yes, I admit that was not the best idea, but I needed time to adjust to having wheels.

So after getting a new ultra light chair I found even more freedom and abilities. I decided it was time to get back out there. I moved forward with the knowledge that I would have to work 5 times as hard as my cohorts since they were walking. I had to prove I could make valuable contributions from my chair.

I set out to get any and all certifications I could so that I would be more valuable to the FRG. So far I have 5, a 6th will come soon. I have been welcomed by the new leadership of the FRG and made some wonderful new friends.

In short I’m saying don’t tell someone you didn’t want to bother them, if they are offering you help. It’s no bother they want to be included. Just because someone is a wheelchair user, don’t count them out, they know their own limits. They can probably do more than you think. If  you think something is to difficult for them, ask don’t assume.

My husband will be deploying next year my biggest concern is how to get the trash can to the curb and back. Yep thats it, the trashcan. He knows his job I can take care of myself, the rest is just noise.

Working hard vs Hardly working

writing, lets make that clear. I spend hours at the keyboard every day. I just sent chapter 7 off to my dear Dad for his wonderful editing assistance. Why my Dad?

It’s simple he is a well respected foreign language professor, and willing to help me. He is also a published author in his own right, albeit in french.

Now back to the main topic is all this time at the keyboard work or am I hardly working?

Well since I love what I am doing, it doesn’t feel like work, despite the hours I am putting in. I think it’s the perfect mix of working hard without feeling the drudgery of work.

Does it ever feel more like work?

Yes if I said no I’d be lying. Those tend to be the days when I feel uninspired and needing motivation. What then? I turn to those around me, the veterans I volunteer with, the soldiers helped through soldier angels and many other sources.

Sometimes i find myself reading to my cats, yes I said cats. While they cannot give feedback, at least not the constructive or grammatical kind, they give support. They provide cuddles, snuggles, purrs and meows. Yes the felines of the house are often the first to hear my freshly minted prose, but I don’t want them to be the last to indulge in the stories I craft as I sit at the keyboard.

 

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Voting done, but chapter 5 is not

Well the voting for military spouse of the year, is closed or will be in a matter of moments. I wont know the results until the 25th. I did not run all over trying to get votes, and while it would be wonderful to win, I was just honored and amazed when my husband nominated me. 

Now chapter 4 has been sent back from Dad, he did it in no time. Well more like one night. He’s so fast it amazes me. He wants the next chapter tomorrow, gasp. I have started on the tweaking of chapter 5 but I have not finished it. I guess I’d better get to work.